The worst bodge

[plasticpigeon]

I'm at the moment having a brick arch above a sash window repaired. It had previously been repaired (about a year ago, instigated by the previous homeowners) under an insurance claim. When the builder I've employed started taking it apart it became apparent that the whole lot had been stuck together with no more nails and pointed with cement!!! The builder said it had been a while since he'd seem such a bad bodge. What other nonsense have people encountered??

[Moo]

The single-storey bay at the little house we're in the process of buying has a flat roof behind a parapet.
A narrow plastic pipe protrudes from one side of it, with the aim of directing the rainwater into a drainpipe.
Last week a roofer, called in to quote for various repairs, warned us that the drainage holes in these roofs are very easily blocked by the odd leaf and offered to clear it out while he was there with his ladders.
There was no drain hole. Six years ago the owner had some cowboy 'sort out' said flat roof and the idiot had taken the asphalt straight over the hole.
Surprise, surprise - the ceiling in the bay is in a very bad way indeed.

[MdB]

Oh where to start...

• Our entire front wall was built in a single layer of block on the very edge of a narrow stone rubble wall. It was supporting the weight of the first floor and the roof. We had to rebuild the whole thing properly. The stone rubble wall we demolished by kicking it...
• The first floor joists were supported by the above wall simply by them poking through the block wall with render then applied to the whole lot. All the joist ends were rotten as you might expect.
• Electric cables went over the floor joists but under the floor boards with no notch. Walking on the floor upstairs was hence squashing the cables.
• An electric cable was joined in the roof by simply baring the ends then twisting them together. It was then hidden under a layer of rockwool just waiting for somebody to put their hand on it. Fortunately it was spotted first..
• The block built garage was built directly onto top soil with no foundations at all.
• The thin layer of concrete floor was letting the damp through so a new layer of concrete was added straight on to the old floor. However the plaster wasn't removed from the wall so it still went down to the old damp layer providing a nice route for rising damp to wick up all the way around the room.
• A block pillar was built to support two lintels, an I beam, the floor above, the wall above and the roof above. The foundations for this pillar turned out to be 40mm of concrete on top of a thin layer of sand (mostly washed away) on top of some large rubble (full of voids).
• A plastic window upstairs turned out to be directly supporting the end of one of the six A frames that made up the roof. i.e. the window was directly taking the weight of a twelfth of the entire weight of the roof.

[Flyfisher]

A pretty impressive list.

I expect there was also a hitching rail outside for all the cowboy's horses.

[plasticpigeon]

My goodness, that is quite extreme. I can see that things could be a lot worse for me despite not seeing any end in site on my humble property. What made you buy the house MdB?

[Zebra]

For me I think it's just rainwater disposal methods that send the water into gullies in the ground that go nowhere, right next to the house.

[JohnB]

For me I think it's just rainwater disposal methods that send the water into gullies in the ground that go nowhere, right next to the house.

You've got gullies? I've just got water deposited right next to the house, much of it on concrete paths!

[agbagb]

Are you counting cement plaster and asbestos wall paneling?
If not then, my last weeks polythene and shed felt, hard board and plywood roof repairs.

or bodged bodgering:

[Johnboy]

Three real gems..

1) Linoleum used instead of lead flashing where the kitchen is joined to the rear of the house.

2) A one and a half tonne brick dividing wall built straight on top of the bedroom floorboards effectively splitting one large room into two smaller rooms. Good plan... one slight flaw... No supporting wall/beam underneath! (So that accounts for the bow in the ceiling??)

3) The roof repair made using a 'Welsh slate' cut out of 4 mm plywood painted with black bitumen.

[Feltwell]

A solid fuel Rayburn, installed in a shoddily-built conservatory, with it's flue cut straight through the polycarbonate roof sheets with nothing seperating the hot flue from the plastic sheets. The flue then terminated outside directly underneath the plastic guttering for the house, the result of which was that every time it rained the entire roof's worth of water poured straight out of the melted guttering, down the flue and into the (very rusty) Rayburn before flooding the conservatory.

In the same house, the kitchen and bathrooms had ceiling mounted extractor fans that just vented into the loft space. The previous owners left a freezer in the garage that had clearly not worked for several years. It was full of (what was once) food.

[MdB]

Oh where to start...

• Our entire front wall was built in a single layer of block on the very edge of a narrow stone rubble wall. It was supporting the weight of the first floor and the roof. We had to rebuild the whole thing properly. The stone rubble wall we demolished by kicking it...
• The first floor joists were supported by the above wall simply by them poking through the block wall with render then applied to the whole lot. All the joist ends were rotten as you might expect.
• Electric cables went over the floor joists but under the floor boards with no notch. Walking on the floor upstairs was hence squashing the cables.
• An electric cable was joined in the roof by simply baring the ends then twisting them together. It was then hidden under a layer of rockwool just waiting for somebody to put their hand on it. Fortunately it was spotted first..
• The block built garage was built directly onto top soil with no foundations at all.
• The thin layer of concrete floor was letting the damp through so a new layer of concrete was added straight on to the old floor. However the plaster wasn't removed from the wall so it still went down to the old damp layer providing a nice route for rising damp to wick up all the way around the room.
• A block pillar was built to support two lintels, an I beam, the floor above, the wall above and the roof above. The foundations for this pillar turned out to be 40mm of concrete on top of a thin layer of sand (mostly washed away) on top of some large rubble (full of voids).
• A plastic window upstairs turned out to be directly supporting the end of one of the six A frames that made up the roof. i.e. the window was directly taking the weight of a twelfth of the entire weight of the roof.

and there's more..

• Linoleum flooring used as wall tiles in the bathrooms.
• All the guttering downpipes ending 1m from the ground with no drainage at all.
• Soil heaped up against the side of the house so that there was a 600mm difference between inside and outside floor levels.
• Wall partitions made from hardboard.
• Stopcock buried 1m down under soil.
• Main "A" frames supporting the roof only having 50x75mm cross pieces to stop spreading.
• Plasterboard repaired with cornflake packet and then wall papered.
• Cooker connection grub screw not done up at all.
• Circular junction box with a total of 7 cables going into it.
• Usual cement everywhere and inappropriate paint - but everybody has those issues.

What made you buy the house MdB?

We liked it - and still do! But then everyone knows everyone on this forum is completely mad and we are no exception...

[robgil]

My whole house is a bodge , I am seeing bodging dating back to the late 1500's. We might have to change it's name to ''Bodgeme Cottage''

[still_adrianth]

the whole lot had been stuck together with no more nails and pointed with cement

Is this as silly as it sounds? Normally you need a wooden former to build an arch, because it won't stand until it's complete. But once it is complete, it will bear loads with no mortar and can distort to adapt to uneven loads. Maybe the no-more-nails allowed it to be constructed without a former, saving effort and cost?

[philpjuk100]

My whole house is a bodge , I am seeing bodging dating back to the late 1500's. We might have to change it's name to ''Bodgeme Cottage''

But it is still standing from a time with no building regs,no building inspectors,no government training schemes,no foundations,no HIP packs (sorry had to post the last one as I paid £600 for one on a house that has yet to sell!) They did`nt do bad for "yokels" did they?

[worms]

My whole house is a bodge , I am seeing bodging dating back to the late 1500's. We might have to change it's name to ''Bodgeme Cottage''

But it is still standing from a time with no building regs,no building inspectors,no government training schemes,no foundations,no HIP packs (sorry had to post the last one as I paid £600 for one on a house that has yet to sell!) They did`nt do bad for "yokels" did they?

And who amongst can say, hand-on-heart, that there are not some of our own bodges lying in wait for a future purchaser? You know, these need-a-quick-repair-tonight-in-a-howling-gale, I'll-do-it-properly-come-summer, a-blind-man-on-a-fast-horse-would-never-notice type of jobs?

Or is it just me?