expert damp advice

Before we moved into our house and before we knew better, we got a specialist firm to do a damp survey. Inevitably they recommended a chemical dpc for our lovely 170 year old ashlar stone walls(which we have decided against), but I thought you might be amused by this exerpt from their report:

'After consideration of the pattern of moisture readings found and the general pattern of dampness noted, we conclude that the dampness is due to :

The absence of an efficient damp proof course in the walls.'

!!!!!

Rocket science, eh?

I'm with the breathing building approach myself... although at the moment the building is breathing a bit too much, as we have a door off its hinges to stick an extra piece of wood along the bottom.

Thick socks and alcohol is the answer!



INFORMATION ON BREATHING BUILDINGS

Yep - bring a bottle means a hot water bottle - we have a three bar electric fire in our 'inglenook' at the moment and £6 a day in electricity. Roll on Tuesday - stove fitting day!

Oh, well, since last week we have the luxury of heating ... thank heavens! It's just vanishing through a large gap at the moment.

Damp proofing courses were made compulsory by Building Regs in 1877, approximately 42 years after your house was built! Even then, the image of a Building Inspector trotting off on his horse to enforce this is risible!

This is a typical response from a remedial treatments company, their idea being to make you think that if you haven't got one, you certainly need one!

Houses of your age were, in the main, quite good at ridding themselves of excessive dampness and it's later additions, such as PVCu d/g and the blocking of flues etc that have altered this situation.

My entire business is founded on ridding the general public of these myths, have alook if you want, the link is at the bottom.

Treat (forgive the pun) any advice from a damp proofing company with caution. Finding out the root cause of your problem is not always their primary concern.

Best of luck

Patrick



Damp & Timber Problems - Independent Surveyor

Dear Heart,

Don't you mean it's emanating from a large gap?

Patrick



http://www.pdoyle.net

The only large gap around here is possiblty between your ears Patrick. Stiill, estate agents...

The SPAB site has information on damp. It's not full of ads for#####products, just sound advice. I think most of us who post here hardly need you to tell us how to deal with it and I reckon we are pretty well aware of the history of building construction.



CONSTRUCTION HISTORY

EvilWhine Darling;

The words 'clutching', 'at' and 'straws' spring to mind; or are you really saying you think estate agents are plonkers?

If so, let it rip baby, the oyster's your world!

Patrick

(User Above) said:

:
:0

Click to expand...

http://www.pdoyle.net

Nah - you're a tedious tosser and not worth bothering with really.

"A Tedious Tosser"

What in heaven's name is a middle-class doyen of period property doing, uttering such beastly phrases, I'm not the Hun for goodness sakes!

Though evilwhine thinks she knows all
Her swearing reveals a crude haul
Of platitudes, nonsense, ignorance (sans conscience)
And a conceit a ‘la Charles de Gaulle

Ratpick

Knew it all along!!



The Dickie Website

You are clearly a rather inferior internet troll. We've had more inventive ones.

Back under the bridge you go.

I'm going Evilwhine, I can't compete with that - such wit, such ingenuity.

Pratrick

Wit and ingenuity is lost on people like you. It's hardly worth the effort.

It becomes apparent however very rapidly when people are trolls - same hackneyed phrases, same insults which bear no relationship to the previous post as soon as you are challenged, and an e-mail address which doesn't work.

This troll has set up a website which purports to contain information of use and interest to Period Property posters. well, damp is always an issue.

So far it's hard to complain.

So he insinuates himself onto the site a bit at a time being 'friendly' and 'helpful', offers PDF files (which I have no doubt can be obtained from other internet sources) and keeps suggesting, in incomplete posts, that people seek further information from his linked website. This of course is not something which others do who post on this site, but 'Patrick' thinks that he can carry on doing it and ignore protests about his commercial links. Well, he would wouldn't he? Indeed. he even offers his 'services' on Seeking Specialists.

Strange though that e-mails to him bounce back...

Some of his information though is a little suspect... possibly not the 'expert' he makes out he is?

Suggestions - polite ones - that he desists and puts his link via the Profiles part of this site are rebuffed - and the nasty nature of the troll starts to come out in insults. They are always similar ones, and then there's the 'divide and rule' stuff, but it soon starts to be apparent that he is a troll. A hint or two washes over him.

Well it would, wouldn't it? Because linked to his 'helpful' and 'period property friend'y' website concept are a load of ads for stuff most of us wouldn't let near their homes - injection creams, damp meters, impervious paint... and he is making cash from these ads. So far I suspect not a great deal, and let's hope that he's paid for his ads plastered all over 'Seeking Specialists'.

So - it's up to you people, but I'd not bother reading his site (yes, we all will do it once ...) and remember Richard the Rock and Phil the Joiner ... and the 'sash pockets'?

Same guy Ratprick???

Well I have told him what I think of his "RAMMING" which forgive me but sounds like a high pressure selling technique, surely this site is for guidance and not ramming.

I am bored with his perpetual website links which have made me crosser and crosser.

Lets hope rat appendage in the cold light of day shrinks to insignificance and withers away.

Can you believe he seems to think you have a mind control machine making everyone say what you want and he is the only one brave enough to front up to you?

Message for Patrick, I tried not to use small letters or joined up writing so it helps you understand.

PATRICK PERHAPS THERE ARE RECOGNISED STANDARDS OF BOTH ETHICS, MATERIALS AND TECHNIQUES WHICH IS WHY WE ALL SEEM TO BE BATTING THE SAME WICKET, SO WHY ARE YOU SO INTENT ON BEING ON THE OTHER SIDE WITH SOME IF NOT ALL OF THESE?

Oh and by the way Evelyn, have you got a mind con troll machine?

To be quite frank Evilwhine dear, I think you've overdone it on the charm here.

Coudn't you tell it a bit more like it is. You know -with a bit of panache, some humour, that wicked little smile you give sometimes when you find lime in yer drawers?

Don't overdo it with the truth though, that'd get in the way of your paranoia <IMG SRC="http://www.periodproperty.co.uk/discussing/smileys/smile.gif" BORDER=0 ALT="">

Pratprick, Prickprat, Ratpick - they all fit and they all feel fine!!!



http://www.pdoyle.net

Classic Troll - but it hasn't worked cos in general Gnatsprick the people here have minds of their own, I have no control over them whatsoever, as you are aware, and I'm very, very clued up on idiots like you. As are others. Hope you haven't spent too much time setting this one up. Wasted really.

I'm sorry though I called you a tosser. That was wrong of me. I doubt you could even get it up - not old enough or clued up enough.

So stop whining, you've been found out, nobody is going to turn against me and argue me off the site.

So go play with your damp meter.

My Dearest E’ tha’s venereal

Oh dear,

(by the way, I love Gnatsprick because: a) I love it when you talk dirty and b) it’s even better when you flatter me; but I digress…)

The whole point of being a Tosser is that you don’t *have* to get it up and, seeing as I’m a pensioner, you accusing me of being too young is – well - positively orgasmic actually! And you wonder why I love you!

But there is one thing I have to talk to you about E’ tha’s venereal dearest. It’s come to my notice that you’ve been downloading my photograph from my website (which in case you’d forgotten is http://www.pdoyle.net) and what’s more, my little vibrator fairies tell me you’ve been looking at it while you’re discharging your U2’s – you naughty little possum. Try not to get it too stained, I can only stand so many downloads…

Now, I know you're just sitting there with your litte fingers poised, but take them out and put them back on the keyboard. Quote me happy - right now!

Anyway, I’ll talk to you soon and, in the meantime, keep ‘em coming baby, the whole forum is lurvin it…….. <IMG SRC="http://www.periodproperty.co.uk/discussing/smileys/smile.gif" BORDER=0 ALT=""> <IMG SRC="http://www.periodproperty.co.uk/discussing/smileys/smile.gif" BORDER=0 ALT=""> <IMG SRC="http://www.periodproperty.co.uk/discussing/smileys/smile.gif" BORDER=0 ALT=""> <IMG SRC="http://www.periodproperty.co.uk/discussing/smileys/smile.gif" BORDER=0 ALT=""> <IMG SRC="http://www.periodproperty.co.uk/discussing/smileys/smile.gif" BORDER=0 ALT=""> <IMG SRC="http://www.periodproperty.co.uk/discussing/smileys/smile.gif" BORDER=0 ALT="">(just how many smilies *are* there in an organism anyway (did I spell that right)?)

Trpakirp xxx

p.s. I’ve flattened the batteries in my damp meter – just how symbiotic does our relationship have to get before we’re declared an item?



http://www.pdoyle.net

Dearest E' tha's Venereal...

I just had to post again because not only has something very exciting 'appened, but I need your advice too...

I was lying on't sofa, watching those winter oldlimpets games and there were this long line o' blokes, all skating around wi' their bums up each other's noses.

They were going faster and faster and faster and faster and suddenly....I'd fallen asleep an was dreaming of you, my dearest. An yer know what - I did a triple salko; all over t'sofa.

Now, that's th'exciting bit out o'way, but what my wife needs to know now is how to clean it off.

Do we use lime or do we use one o' them chemicals, like CIF er Cliteris Bang. She said as you're th'acknowledged expert on shite I should ask you.

What der yer think oh gorgeous gussett?

Yours till Gervase's cows come home; either that or allegorical exactitude returns to its former glory

Kipcract (or Big Boy as you prefer to call me)



http://www.pdoyle.net