Penners
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Would that be for jumping over a volt-ing horse?Gareth Hughes said:
(It's the way I tell 'em)
- Thread starter skier-hughes
- Start date
(It's the way I tell 'em)
Ushy M
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When re-setting the mouse trap first thing in the morning whilst pondering the relative merits of peanut butter versus soap as bait, do not allow yourself to be distracted by the cats (Yes, I know) and get your finger in the way just as you're putting the trap back onto the shelf.
Penners
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If he did it again, would he have been revolting?
heh. I reckon it would have been a re-volting experience after just the first half cycle.
You know, its an odd phenomenon, but while being electrified its possible to count each and every half cycle, even though 100 of them come along per second. Maybe we should do some scientific trials on that?
Anyone fancy being at the forefront of scientific research?
NT
You know, its an odd phenomenon, but while being electrified its possible to count each and every half cycle, even though 100 of them come along per second. Maybe we should do some scientific trials on that?
Anyone fancy being at the forefront of scientific research?
NT
Gervase
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Not mentioning any names, but maybe the list could include trying to elaborate on difficulties of holding back an onslaught with 'the finger in the dyke' metaphor, and putting the phrase into Google...
Well. I'l warrant there were a few raised eyebrows in the borders this evening. : bum!:
(gratifyingly, however, standing atop a pile of dodgy links - well, I had to try it - was http://www.thehollandring.com/hans-brinker-story.shtml.Which is the real finger in the dyke story.)
Well. I'l warrant there were a few raised eyebrows in the borders this evening. : bum!:
(gratifyingly, however, standing atop a pile of dodgy links - well, I had to try it - was http://www.thehollandring.com/hans-brinker-story.shtml.Which is the real finger in the dyke story.)
Nemesis
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I wuz actually expecting some of what I got.. we had already had a bit of a giggle... but I have to say there were one or two interesting links.
The story of the boy with his finger in the dyke to save Holland I am sure is in there somewhere, I just need to keep searching... but you seem to have found it.
(The hollandring???)
The story of the boy with his finger in the dyke to save Holland I am sure is in there somewhere, I just need to keep searching... but you seem to have found it.
(The hollandring???)
Nimster
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When you notice that the screws attaching the hinges to the loft-hatch door appear to be a bit loose, don't try and bang the door closed as it will fall off, hit you, then bounce down the stairs and try to smash the front door before breaking into many unfixable pieces.
Nemesis
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A small tip but a useful one - when finally your other half gets round to replacing the bathroom door bolt (yes I could have done it but he took it off...) which can work two ways, so it can be used on a left or right handed door, ensure that the bolt part goes the way it should to actually lock the bathroom door.
Useful if you have guests.
Useful if you have guests.
sarahj
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Don't try and drink a mug of tea whilst doing the ironing.
Matt Green
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When crawling across a fragile ceiling with a colleague, if they find something interesting get them to take a picture of it.
Don't go over to them to have a look.
:roll:
Don't go over to them to have a look.
:roll:
Penners
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sarahj said:
Or (old joke) don't try and answer the phone and do the ironing both at the same time.
Nemesis
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The old ones are often the best Penners... I'm sure you will agree!!
Penners
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Thank goodness!Nemesis said:
Ok, is my turn to be a mug.
It was a very frosty january morning and totally exited about our coach fishing outing, a two hour trip to Cantebury.
The usual routine on these trips is to stop for early breakfast somewhere along the way and get well wrapped up ready for the fishing session. Needless to say that sometime before the end of the journey someone needs to go to the toilet ( the nearest bush ot tree in most cases).
On this trip I developed I dire need to go, because I refused to be at the end of the usual sarcastic remarks which are normally associated when someone needed to go, I decided to be " brave", keep my mouth shut and hang on untill the coach arrived to the river.
Big mistake, during the rough couple of miles I am sure that my ( NO.2) started a fermentation process. I still kept cool and immediately upon arrival I beat the cue to get off the bus and run to the nearest undergrowth, this was totally covered with hoar frost and pot holes, I beat the record to unzipp my winter suit and bischarged the system. The relief...., the extacy......, as close to an orgasmic feeling one can ever get....., etc....., etc......,
Having finished with the toilet paper ( a must on these trips ) I started to slip back into my winter wrappings, I could not resist at not taking a peep at my excreement and to my amazement I could not see any, plenty of "steam" and immediately thought that being so "runny" it must have disappeared in a pot hole or something. And then put my winter suit hood on.
I had finally foud it. That was my last fishing coach trip.
It was a very frosty january morning and totally exited about our coach fishing outing, a two hour trip to Cantebury.
The usual routine on these trips is to stop for early breakfast somewhere along the way and get well wrapped up ready for the fishing session. Needless to say that sometime before the end of the journey someone needs to go to the toilet ( the nearest bush ot tree in most cases).
On this trip I developed I dire need to go, because I refused to be at the end of the usual sarcastic remarks which are normally associated when someone needed to go, I decided to be " brave", keep my mouth shut and hang on untill the coach arrived to the river.
Big mistake, during the rough couple of miles I am sure that my ( NO.2) started a fermentation process. I still kept cool and immediately upon arrival I beat the cue to get off the bus and run to the nearest undergrowth, this was totally covered with hoar frost and pot holes, I beat the record to unzipp my winter suit and bischarged the system. The relief...., the extacy......, as close to an orgasmic feeling one can ever get....., etc....., etc......,
Having finished with the toilet paper ( a must on these trips ) I started to slip back into my winter wrappings, I could not resist at not taking a peep at my excreement and to my amazement I could not see any, plenty of "steam" and immediately thought that being so "runny" it must have disappeared in a pot hole or something. And then put my winter suit hood on.
I had finally foud it. That was my last fishing coach trip.
Gervase
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OK middi - you win.
Anything trying to top that one is going to be over the top! You have managed to paint pictures in my head that I really don't want to see... :shock:
Anything trying to top that one is going to be over the top! You have managed to paint pictures in my head that I really don't want to see... :shock:
Jane Smith
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Bags I don't have to sit next to middi on the next Period Property fun-fest.
plumbers mate
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Oh, dear,
I'm in a computer room at work, on the Help Desk with lots silly students around and I get the guffaws - not giggles. Please give warnings before sending anything which will cause such unstoppable hilarity....
I'm in a computer room at work, on the Help Desk with lots silly students around and I get the guffaws - not giggles. Please give warnings before sending anything which will cause such unstoppable hilarity....
DaveBrigg
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I can't beat that one, however...
Electricians are sensitive souls who can be easily upset by the slightest mistake. Bearing this is mind, when you turn on the mains at the fuse box late at night to enable you to work on the kitchen ceiling, with hindsight it is probably a good idea to shut it down afterwards, before the sparky arrives the next morning to install light fittings.
Electricians are sensitive souls who can be easily upset by the slightest mistake. Bearing this is mind, when you turn on the mains at the fuse box late at night to enable you to work on the kitchen ceiling, with hindsight it is probably a good idea to shut it down afterwards, before the sparky arrives the next morning to install light fittings.
When skimming landing ceilings during house refurbishments and you ask the electrician to isolate the upstairs lights be sure to tell him why as he might inform you that landing ceiling's lights run off the downstairs circuit thus avoiding a nasty shock and ruining your best setting trowel